Which Breed Of Surfer Are You?
Surfing as a sport has the ability to bring all sorts of people together. Fundamentally we all want the same thing – to catch waves and to have fun, but often different surfers will go about this in different ways. Read on to find out which breed of surfer matches you…
The snaker is mischievous and is often disliked among friends. Sometimes snakers can be subtle, but their true colours will always show on pumping days, and especially in crowds. These surfers always feel like they are owed something, and that something is your wave.
The gutter rat dwells on the inside every session. They always catch the “fun ones” and often get a lot of waves. Their high wave count usually makes them quite skilled, however on bigger days they can have quite a hard time. When ever it is slow and lully, these surfers have the best time ever and always return to land with high spirits when everybody else is grumpy.
The patient zen warrior waits their turn for the bomb set and is like a tiger hunting prey. Often displaying a blank expression, this surfer stares out into the horizon simply waiting. Often these surfers don’t catch many waves, but they do catch the bigger waves of the session.
The over ambitious surfer always sits too deep claiming to be “barrel hunting.” Sometimes this may be true, but often they just catch closeouts and never seem to learn. Sitting deep inflates their ego and these types of surfers often hoot themselves into waves. This is one of the more tragic breed of surfers.
The aggressive local has its righteous place in the line up. They are often the police men and women of the water and monitor behaviour. They talk about how, “back in the day there was none of this” and write 90% of people off as blow in’s. A wide range of profanity is used on the regular. This type of surfer particularly likes to target tourists, or people from the major cities who drive S.U.V’s. Without the aggressive local, the line up would probably be much more chaotic.
The exaggerating surfer often calls the surf a couple of ft bigger than it always is. They often claim barrels that lasted minutes, hold downs that lasted forever and airs higher than you have ever seen before. When ever you ask about the conditions it will always have been “absolutely pumping”…but only if you weren’t there to see it yourself.
The no shits given surfer just doesn’t give a shit. This type of surfer often has a good time, but remains absolutely hated and rightly so. This person has no regard for anybody else in the water as they only care about themselves. They often cause collisions but it will never be their fault.
The oblivious surfer may appear to be like the no shits given surfer, except they have better intentions. They too often drop in, but only because they have no idea what is going on. Often they cut you off, but wear a large grin as if money were falling from the sky. Sometimes they apologise for dropping in, however they will do it over and over again, completely oblivious every time.
The humble shredder is a rare and beautiful breed. They never seem to have to fight for waves and explode with style and grace when up and riding. They bring a calming presence to the line up, but are hard to come by. This breed is very much endangered and needs to be protected at all costs.
The sponsored grom will consist of a very high voice, a fluorescent wetsuit, excessive energy and a cheeky grin. They catch more than their fair share of waves and often surf very, very well. These types of surfers are often found hanging around the gutter rats, and can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. Often it helps to join forces with such a breed.
The soulful surfer can often be found saying, “it’s just so good to be in the water.” They love early mornings and evenings as this allows them to marvel in the silky water and beautiful sunsets. These surfers often ride strange boards as they can connect to the ocean on “another level” and leg ropes remain a hit and miss.
So here we have it, an extremely stereotyped and generalised guide to the different breeds of surfers lurking in our waters. Because of cross breeding, sometimes surfers can belong in two groups, for example the snaker sponsored grom, or the patient zen warrior that doesn’t give a shit. Make sure you tag a friend with their breed so we can further understand these species and begin to create a balanced eco system within our ocean.